#I'm tired of living like this! I'm tired of living! what is the fucking point!
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lesbianherald · 2 days ago
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*vent* Flawed characters deserve love and understanding
- this message is about Jayce and Viktor (I’m tired of the SLANDER /WEEPS)
the slander is on twitter/in spaces you don't need to be in come join us in good vibes city. heeh <3
and of course they do that's so... weird. a lot of people I think are very bitter about jayce and viktor being given such a beautiful and nuanced story at the end (though viktor's arc was ass) when other characters were completely shafted. this is... totally fair.
but they're taking it out on the wrong people and making it a moral purity contest instead of engaging with what they enjoy.
--
side note. this is so tangentially related I'm so sorry but I'm thinking:
i rarely see jayce and viktor slander, but while i was still on twitter i'd see a lot of people being like - I'm this character's biggest defender - this character was justified in xyz because ABC - and I came to realize that moral purity culture that was very prevalent in the mid 2010s has really impacted the way people are able to process and engage with media in a really concerning way. and it causes people to do insane things like use phrases such as "good manipulation" and even defend blockading an oppressed population from accessing your city or even the GASSING OF CITIES LIKE DKSJFHSD
these people genuinely do not want these characters to be seen as flawed or nuanced. they want these characters to be perfect. any discussion of these flaws is "hate." any mention of any wrongdoing is hate. it gets to the point where if you discuss a female characters nuances and flaws you are a misogynist. its. so toxic like KDJSFLHDKLFj
i got that a lot when talking about jayce's corruption arc in season 1. (not the misogyny but the other stuff) all the sudden I hated this character that I literally loved so much and rotated around in my brain like a juicy rotisserie chicken at the grocery store 24/7 because I didn't think his actions were good or justified in season 1 like. Is that not the whole point? That he fucks up? And now must live with his mistakes? sorry I hope you don't view this as jayce hate when you were sad about it before its just interesting. Dsfkjld The marvelification of our fandoms is rotting our brains.
Also, people treat fictional characters like STANS, not FANS. Another huge reason I hate twitter. I'm sorry. This is such a tangent. You are so right. But I'm here on this tangent so I'm staying with it.
it makes me so sad and concerned as someone who wants to write my own stuff and put it out into the world. people can't engage with nuance anymore. People hate on fictional characters as a way to dig on the people in their shared community instead of exploring fictional characters for their nuances or critiquing flawed writing
This really doesn't help when the writing becomes fucky. Really hard for me to take Viktor criticism seriously when his storyline was so fucked. Really hard for me to take defenses of Caitlyn so seriously when they went so hard making her do so much evil of her own fruition without bothering to give her a meaningful redemption arc. And instead of blaming the shit writing, people just yell at each other lol.
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sundrop-writes · 2 hours ago
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It's been far too long since me and Star have been on our bullshit, and I am so glad that the return of Star Squared in 2025 is with a smutty Gleggie fic <33
anyway, here we fuckin goooo
Star: "Jesus" for a moment I forgot about the long haired white boy SKSKSKSKS (i blinked like "what?")
Sunny: it's hilarious because in the show they explicitly state that his real name is Paul Rovia, but NOBODY CALLS HIM PAUL. NOBODY IN THE SHOW CALLS HIM BY HIS REAL FUCKING NAME. everybody calls him Jesus. it's a nickname that stuck SO FUCKING HARD. so yeah, it's that long haired white boy. also you would probably be interested to hear that one of the top ships with Jesus is Jesus x Daryl. (and I was a part of the fandom when Jesus was first introduced, and seeing the SURGE in Jesus/Daryl fics hit the scene was actually hilarious and amusing.)
Star: "he felt utterly insulted at the idea of a pregnant woman sleeping outside in a trailer" THANK YOU
Sunny: in the canon, Jesus is like the Boyle to Maggie's Jake Peralta. he's like "if Maggie isn't here, I'm gonna throw up and die", and when anybody is treating Maggie poorly (especially after Glenn is gone, rip, crying) then he steps to them and makes sure they know what the fuck is up. even though Maggie is more than class at defending herself, he is always standing behind her ready to back her the fuck up and I LOVE IT
Star: "more satisfying for Maggie to fuck her two lovers in the new found comfort of the Manor’s bed" KSKSKKSKSKSK YEEEEAAAHHHHH
Sunny: Jesus was like "a pregnant woman deserves a comfortable bed" and Maggie was like "well they're coming with me". also I just thought about Glenn's speech to Lori in S2 and how the list of things he thinks a pregnant woman requires are 'vitamins, nice bedding, and a comfortable pillow' and Jesus agrees
Star: "tired at the thought that she might have to wrangle you away from a conflict" LET ME LIIIVEEEEEEE
Sunny: if she let you live then NOTHING WOULD GET DONE. THIS IS WHY MAGGIE HAS TO BE IN CHARGE
Star: "you knocked a vase off a nearby table" i regret nothing : 3
Sunny: trust me, when you get to the point of the show where you actually meet Gregory, you will regret this EVEN LESS and you will come back to this fic and reread this even more for satisfaction's sake
Star: "You. Hallway. Now" oh no Maggie's mad 😔 (😌)
Sunny: THE EMOJIS HERE ARE MY FUCKING FAVOURITE. this is literally like that meme "I don't want Maggie to be mad at me... but the DEMONS IN ME want her to be mad at me cause she's HOT WHEN SHE'S MAD"
Star: "And clean up that damn mess" that's my baby momma 🛐
Sunny: This was directly inspired by her big hot attitude moments in the canon <3 (I need her to step on me so badly, I fear)
Star: "If you wanted to be pregnant, then Maggie would make it happen" give her a strap, she can do it
Sunny: oddly enough, I am so Gleggie brained, I was not thinking of a strap. I was so hyper-focused on the idea of using Glenn as a dildo that I was not thinking about Maggie with a strap but IMAGINE THE POWER of a Gleggie threesome where Maggie has a strap and she BOSSES GLENN AROUND ABOUT HOW TO FUCK READER. like ooomf
Star: "one of the ropes for the horses" : O
Sunny: yeehaw <3 (cut to that clip of Glenn creeping on her through the binoculars and say 'helloooo farmer's daughter' cause Maggie is SO HOT WHEN SHE RIDES A HORSE WHILE WEARING THAT FUCKING COWBOY HAT)
Star: "Gregory’s bedroom doorway" YEEEAAAH SKKSKSKSKSK
Sunny: I HATE HIM SO MUUUUCH. he deserves a thousand ugly deaths but for now, this will do lmao
Star: "Uh - Mags, don’t we need Glenn for this part?" nonsense, get the strap
Sunny: I WISH I WOULD HAVE THOUGHT TO GIVE HER A STRAP. This is why I need your brain, you activate the evil in me sometimes I really need it
Star: "I’ll probably have him fuck your ass for practice instead" : O WOWHWJAKWNAB
Sunny: ... ngl, if this wasn't a breeding kink fic, I would have actually gone there. I was a in a Mood when I was writing this lmao
Star: "Glenn had absolutely no clue what he had done to warrant such a harsh tone" IQSKAKAKKS HE'S IMMEDIATELY THINKING OF ALL THE SHIT HE'S DONE
Sunny: his crimes? DIDN'T FOLD HIS LAUNDRY. DIDN'T MAKE THE BED THIS MORNING. DIDN'T PUT THE TOILET SEAT DOWN. and meanwhile Maggie is just like "hurry up, I need your cock for something"
Star: "but that would mean that you" he's putting one and two together, please hold
Sunny: WHY IS YOU SAYING 'PLEASE HOLD' ABOUT GLENN'S LOADING BRAINCELLS SO FUCKING FUNNY. like I actually imagine you saying this out loud to him as he's fucking thinking and it's TOO FUCKING FUNNY OMG
Star: "You should have run when you had the chance, dude! These pregnancy hormones are making her fucking insane" JAKAOAKAKKA I LOVE THIS READER SO MUCH
Sunny: then that means I have done my job well, bless <3
Star: "Jesus, Maggie, the buckle!" he's so cute (his girlfriends are absolute freaks)
Sunny: he accidentally rizzed himself into a long term relationship with two absolute freaks and he can't entirely handle it, but most men couldn't. and we love him for it
Star: "He had realized a bit too late that she had decided to get pregnant" and he's falling for the same THING TWICE IN A ROW !!! "It was just as terrifying and dizzying as it was absolutely thrilling" i love how much Glenn is just happy to be there
Sunny: he really is just falling for it twice in a row, but at least Maggie told him what's happening this time so that he won't be ENTIRELY SURPRISED when there's a positive pregnancy test. also again you saying 'Glenn is just happy to be there' is so weirdly fucking funny to me omg
Star: 'it was Maggie’s baby" glenn IS the strap
Sunny: he was the mystery mouskatool <33
Star: "Jesus,” Glenn hissed" he's doing laundry, i think "Jesus’s very timid voice" KSOAKAKKA NOT ANYMORE I GUESS
Sunny: I WAS SOOOO TEMPTED to put in a line about how Glenn was like 'no I DIDN'T MEAN YOU WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE'
Star: "It’s not my fault I’m stuck on a full seven inches over here // Eight" alright you smug motherfucker
Sunny: I had to sneak in some weirdly cocky overly confident S2 Glenn attitude because that is the man I FELL IN LOVE WITH
Star: "you had just gotten off a particularly long, painful horse ride" basically what happened
Sunny: Glenn goes up behind reader and starts singing 'save a horse, ride a cowboy' because he thinks that he's being funny
Break The Brake
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Dom!Maggie Rhee x Sub!Fem!Reader x Sub!Glenn Rhee
I want some more, I want some more - yeah.
Gimme some more, gimme some more - yeah.
Summary:
Maggie has a lot to deal with in life right now - she's the (unofficial) leader of The Hilltop, trying to take care of an entire community, and at the same time dealing with their whiny ousted ex-leader, all while in the early stages of her pregnancy, growing a person inside of her - and somehow, all of the stress makes her hornier than ever.
Luckily, you and Glenn are always there when she needs the two of you.
Or - Maggie fucks you and Glenn in Gregory's bed because he pissed her off.
Dom!Maggie Rhee x Sub!Fem!Reader x Sub!Glenn Rhee. Established Poly Relationship. Smut/PWP. Set during Season 7 (Glenn Lives AU).
Word Count: 10,900
The Walking Dead Masterlist | AO3 Link
Detailed warnings and author's notes below the cut.
Warnings: This is an AU of Season 7 (or even of Season 8, because it's after Negan is jailed, but whatever) - Glenn lives, and I did not specifically mention Abraham dying, so you can imagine that he lived too if you want to - Negan is in jail and all the communities, including what's left of the Saviors, are now living in peace; Glenn, Maggie, and the reader are all in an established poly relationship - at this point in the series, Glenn and Maggie would have been 'married', so the reader is a part of that marriage as well (and though I didn't explicitly state it in the fic, I imagine that the reader goes by the last name Rhee as well); this is during the part of the timeline when Maggie was pregnant (this is why I am saying S7, rather than S8) - still very early on in her pregnancy; discussion of Maggie's body going through changes due to the pregnancy (her gaining weight and a brief, passing mention of her feeling insecure due to that weight gain), also mentions of the pregnancy hormones increasing her libido; this fic DOES use Y/N; the reader has a vagina and breasts and uses she/her pronouns - the reader also has the ability to get pregnant and expresses the desire to get pregnant during the fic; there is mentions of the reader's breasts becoming 'swollen' during pregnancy, but this doesn't denote her pre-pregnancy size, this is just a symptom that comes with pregnancy and an exaggerated descriptor due to the kink-side of her partners being excited about her becoming pregnant; this has very little plot and is mostly smut; warnings for the smut specifically: technically pregnancy sex (because Maggie is pregnant) even though she is the dom commanding the two subs and not actually the one being fucked; a lot of sub/dom dynamics - Maggie is extremely dominant (she is a mean, rough dom), the reader is submissive (she is bratty and teasing), and Glenn is submissive (he is soft and very well behaved); Maggie calls the reader 'little bird' and 'darling girl' and 'brat' and 'whore', and 'sweet little bitch', and 'breeding bitch'; Mommy kink - both Glenn and the reader call Maggie Mommy; brat taming - between Maggie and the reader; bondage - Maggie ties the reader's wrists behind her back, and later in the fic, ties Glenn to the bed with his own belt; punishment and reward - the reader misbehaves and Maggie punishes her (and eventually rewards her); some brief descriptions of anal sex (as a brief flashback - and the flashback is trigger when Maggie uses it as a threat towards the reader, but it's not a main point of this fic); fingering - reader receiving; spanking/pain kink - from Maggie towards the reader; Maggie whips the reader with a belt (across the ass, in a way that is described as pleasure-pain); using a knife to cut off and remove clothes; unprotected penis in vagina sex - between Glenn and the reader; overstimulation - Glenn is 'forced' to cum multiple times to the point where it is painful (but he enjoys it); breeding kink - as I mentioned before, the reader wants to get pregnant (and Maggie also really wants this so that their babies will be close in age, and as things progress, Glenn gets very into it as well); mentions of using a vaginal plug (to keep the cum inside); I think that's actually about it.
A/N: Title comes from a song by Xdinary Heroes of the same name. I have been wanting to write more 'quick' fics for TWD, and this fic was supposed to be like 5k, and even though it turned out way longer than I intended it to, this is definitely one of my quicker fics. So I am really happy with it. I want to write more PWP for The Walking Dead because those fics will be quicker, and because it will help me write fics for characters I haven't yet written about that I really want to write for. So I am definitely going to be writing more PWP fics between working on my longer Daryl fic. Anyway, I had a lot of fun working on this fic, and while I most definitely did not think that this was going to be my first fic of the year, I am super excited to share it with you guys, and I really hope that everyone enjoys it!
...
Patience. 
It was one of the things that Maggie had mastered since becoming the leader of The Hilltop - well, the ‘unofficial’ leader. If you asked any one of the people who lived in the small community, they would tell you that Maggie was their leader. They would tell you that they looked to her for every important decision, even unimportant ones, and they followed her lead in everything. 
Gregory was nothing more than a figurehead - though, in a lot of ways, he wasn’t even that. Figureheads were supposed to be a symbol that people looked to as a representation of something good. But all Gregory represented was cowardice, selfishness, and these days - avoidance of any responsibilities that he claimed to have. He claimed that he was still the undisputed leader of the community, and that all the ‘work’ he had put into Hilltop most definitely still meant something to the people living there. But when it came to major decisions, if Maggie, Glenn, you, Sasha, and Jesus outweighed him on his word, then he simply didn’t get his way. 
Which led him to throwing a lot of childlike fits. Which led to Maggie being forced to develop a great deal of patience when it came to him. 
Often times, when Gregory huffed and argued with her, she could hear her father’s voice in the back of her mind, ranting on about Job and how God wouldn’t impart wrath on the ‘weak minded’ - especially when she felt the itch of her hand straying toward her gun. She wondered if her father had some hand in sending a man named Jesus to watch over her, ensuring that she didn’t murder this awful, annoying man in cold blood. 
“No, no. Absolutely not, I simply won’t have it!” 
Gregory’s petulant voice echoed off the walls of the front sitting room that he had declared as his ‘office’ - clearly, he was trying to have some power over the meeting that he had called to talk to Maggie about this latest issue. He sneered a grand huff through his nostrils as he hurled himself back into his seat - a luxurious upholstered chair that sat tall behind the large oak desk that he claimed to ‘work’ at. 
Maggie knew that he spent most of his time sitting there, reading through the expensive first edition book collection that lived in the Manor while he drank through the rare Scotch that Negan had given him when the extortion deals had still been in place. Hard work wasn’t something he was familiar with. 
Currently, he was throwing a fit because Maggie had demanded (‘suggested’ Jesus would remind her to say during the meeting) - that more of the beds within the house actually be put into use with winter coming up. The Manor was large and had over ten functional bedrooms, and currently, only two of them were in use. One - the largest main bedroom, being used by Gregory, as it had been since The Turn. 
And the second, more recently, being one of the smaller bedrooms on the ground floor had been taken up by you, Glenn, and Maggie. The three of you had only moved in there at Jesus’s insistence when he found out about Maggie’s pregnancy, and he felt utterly insulted at the idea of a pregnant woman sleeping outside in a trailer with thin metal walls. 
Gregory hadn’t liked the idea of the three of you moving into ‘his house’ - Maggie already knew that his ego took up most of the Manor, but he seemed especially perturbed about the three of you in particular moving in. And when prodded on the manner, he awkwardly danced around the fact that he seemed uncomfortable with your polyamorous relationship. Maggie wasn’t surprised. Even with the society everyone once knew dead and gone, only those closest to you seemed to truly understand what the three of you had without mocking it or believing that it was purely sexual. 
But Gregory’s annoyance and even anger toward you and Glenn only made it more satisfying for Maggie to fuck her two lovers in the new found comfort of the Manor’s bed, louder and louder, knowing that he might be kept awake at night by the noise and feel too awkward to say anything about it. 
But right now, as she stood with her arms firmly crossed, glaring him down, Maggie knew that this wasn’t just about you or Glenn or even the comfort of her and her unborn child. This was about the other people in the community who didn’t need to be stuck outside in poorly insulated trailers during the winter, sleeping on makeshift cots for beds when there was a luxurious mansion sitting twenty feet away. Gregory had been selfish and petulant long enough - if the house was his last stand, the place where he truly drew a line, then he could be the one to sleep outside. 
“This matter isn’t up for discussion, winter is coming up, and-” Maggie began, speaking firmly, but of course, she was cut off. 
“You’re right! This isn’t up for discussion!” Gregory bolstered back. “I don’t need a bunch of… hoodlums running in and out, potentially breaking my priceless artifacts-” 
Off to the side, you let out a harsh scoff. 
Your annoyance was already thick in the air and Maggie wondered if she was going to regret bringing you into this meeting. 
You were sitting in another one of the well padded chairs in the corner, your legs thrown over the arm of the chair in that care-free way that you always had about you. You gave Gregory a look that said you were amused, but tired of his bullshit, and Maggie wasn’t sure if she was thankful for the back-up or already tired at the thought that she might have to wrangle you away from a conflict with him. (Because historically, you had much less patience when it came to dealing with Gregory.) 
“Newsflash, asshole. Literally everything is priceless now. There’s no money anymore. And the world has literally turned on its head, in case you haven’t noticed. So canned beans and bullets are far more valuable than any of this old crap that you have in here,” 
To punctuate your point, you reached out one of your feet and with absolutely no hesitation, you knocked a vase off a nearby table. It was white with a blue pattern, and Maggie knew that it was likely one of those ‘priceless artifacts’ that Gregory had been talking about. It fell onto the floor and smashed into hundreds of tiny pieces, causing Gregory to jump out of his seat and stare at the mess as girlish gasp fell from his lips. Maggie pressed a firm hand to her forehead, already stressed out at the fact that she would have to mitigate the oncoming fight. 
“It’s all meaningless-” 
“That was Delftware!” Gregory shouted, turning red in the face with how viciously he raised his volume. 
Maggie’s hand brushed over her gun, and she forced herself to clench her fist with patience, moving to stand between you and Gregory when he finally moved out from behind his desk to approach you - not that she thought he would be any threat to you. The man was all talk. But still, she put a hand in the middle of his chest to force him to keep his distance while he glared at you over her shoulder. She became even more aggravated at the fact that she could almost feel the way you were smirking back at him, even if she couldn’t see it. 
“It’s just a damn vase, calm down.” Maggie told him, knowing that her annoyance wouldn’t do much to calm him down, but unable to hold back the words. 
“Ca - calm down? Me? Calm down?” Gregory balked, looking at her, utterly insulted. “You come into my home, break my things, and-” 
“And we tend your gardens to keep you fed, keep Walkers away, negotiate peace and trade with the other communities. Doesn’t Jesus do your laundry?” You added on, sass and impatience absolutely full in your voice. “If it wasn’t for Maggie and the people loyal to her, you would die naked and starving. But a pretty vase is more important, right?” 
Maggie locked her jaw, resisting the urge to add onto your point and agree with you, not wanting to add fuel to the fire. She hoped that your words - words that nobody else had dared to speak aloud, at least not to Gregory’s face before - would finally sink in. 
She wouldn’t find herself so lucky. 
Instead, the man continued to gape at the two of you, looking dumbfounded and insulted, as if he truly could not believe what you were saying. 
“I - I founded this community.” He said, going back to the only small leg he had to stand on. “I - uh. Are you going to let your little lackey talk to me this way?” He asked, turning to Maggie, as if hoping that she would dismiss you. 
Before Maggie was forced to pick a side in the spat, you spoke up again. 
“Are you stupid?” You asked, the words clearly directed at Gregory, sounding entirely casual and conversational, rather than intended to be a genuine insult. 
“Excuse me?” Gregory gasped. “How dare that you insinuate that my intelligence is anything other than above average, I have a degree from-” 
“It was just a question.” You shrugged. “I didn’t say ‘you are stupid’. I asked ‘are you stupid?’ - I was just wondering.” 
Maggie sighed and rolled her eyes, turning to you. 
“You. Hallway. Now.” She told you firmly, pointing a hand out toward the door, making an order that she hoped you would be smart enough not to refuse. 
You gave her a small smirk that she knew too well - you had been playing it up, dancing on her last nerve on purpose. Then, something inside of her shifted. All the tired frustration that she had been feeling was like coal to a wicked fire, fueling her into a lustful beast. One that was set to attack you the second that she got you alone. 
You got up out of your chair and moved into the hallway like she had told you to, your boots crunching over the bits of smashed porcelain that were still scattered across the floor. 
“Oh thank god, please tell me that you’re going to punish that wretched beast of a girl.” Gregory sighed. 
Maggie was planning on punishing you - but most definitely not in a way that Gregory would ever know about. 
Maggie turned back to him, fixing him in her sharp gaze now. 
“We are gonna start movin’ people into the bedrooms, whether you like it or not.” She said, making sure he knew that her decision was final. “If you don’t want to live in the house with other people, you can move into one of the trailers, or you can take your chances out on the road and try findin’ someplace else.” 
“You’re being completely unreasonable-” 
“And clean up that damn mess.” She said with finality as she moved to leave the room, slamming the door on his protests about how you should be forced to clean it up instead. 
When she was alone in the hallway with you, her gaze fixed on you like a hungry lioness. You were caught in her crosshairs, and there was no way you were going to escape. (Not that you wanted to.) 
You were leaning against one of the walls, perched there oh-so-casually, clearly waiting for her - maybe you weren’t clever enough to run away, not expecting the full measure of the wrath that she was about to bring onto you, or maybe you were eagerly awaiting it. 
“Are you stupid?” Maggie barked at you, recycling your own words back onto you as a kind of taunt. 
She crossed the hallway in three long strides, soon crowding into your personal space, and didn’t give you a moment to answer the question before she was devouring your mouth. She pinned you even tighter against the wall, completely uncaring of who might come across the two of you and see the utterly carnal exchange - nothing loving to mistake about it, gnashing teeth and panting breath, Maggie trying to devour you in a way that spoke of revenge. Clearly trying to shut you up, and you letting out precious little whimpers as you quickly became turned on by her powerful actions and struggled to keep up. 
“I’m not stupid.” You huffed against her chin when she finally pulled back from your lips, looking you in the eyes with a fierce, demanding gaze once again. “Maybe I’m just bored, or-” You choked on a breath, the words dissolving off in your throat. 
“What?” Maggie demanded. 
She could see the thoughts swimming behind your eyes, something lethal and lustful, something you were almost afraid to say. 
“Come on, speak up. Tell me, little bird.” 
It was a nickname that made you weak, caused a whimper from deep in your chest - something that she had called you since the beginning of the relationship that made your pussy flutter and made your heart sing. 
When your jaw quivered in hesitation and you still didn’t speak, Maggie reached up and harshly grabbed your nipple through your shirt - the peak already stuck off and visible through the thin fabric of your tee shirt, no bra in sight, making you even more of a tease in her eyes. She twisted harshly and wiggled her hold on the sensitive point for a prolonged moment, trying to force words out of you. You let out a small whine, and finally folded to her whims, divulging that secret desire. 
“I - I can’t stop thinking about how good you look cause you’re all knocked up,” You said, your voice edging on a whisper, trying to keep it as a secret just between the two of you. 
Your hands came forward and cradled her hips - hips that were now wider than they used to be thanks to the epic hunger the pregnancy had given her, something that made you and Glenn proud to satisfy as her providers while she was so busy providing for everyone else. Initially, the weight gain and the way her body changed in make-up (the fact that she was now more curvy than she ever had been) made her feel self conscious, made her feel a bit alien in her own skin. Especially when she had asked Glenn to get her bigger jeans on one of his last scavenging runs.
But now - Maggie’s insides were burning hotter than they had in weeks, raging with confidence and power and sheer need, and what you said cranked the fire up to a full blown inferno.  
“I can’t stop thinking about how gorgeous you look.” You said, digging your thumbs into the spot right above the waistband of her jeans, creating an intense tingle across her skin. “I… I wanna be gorgeous like that too.” 
The last words came out in a tiny, shy croak, and Maggie almost thought she was mistaken by your meaning - were you saying that you wanted to be pregnant too? 
“Say it.” Maggie commanded, stroking a sharp thumb across your cheek and your bottom lip, loving the absolutely enraptured, glassy look in your eyes already. “Say it, little bird.” 
“I wanna get pregnant.” You told her, your throat tight around the words as you became swallowed up by your own lust, the statement delivering a beautiful gut punch to Maggie’s stomach. 
Her mind was instantly flooded with images of Glenn fucking into you furiously at her command, pulling out - his cock red and raw, drooling and wet with a combination of your cum and his, leaving your cunt used and leaking. Maggie would shove that cum back up inside of you with her fingers to make sure that it took, forcing tears from your eyes as you whined and complained about how sore you were - but it was what you asked for. Your body needed to be fucked and used and filled if you wanted a baby. 
She conjured up mental images of your tits swollen and aching, holding them in her hands and feeling how heavy they were, getting to grope all over your body to feel how big and beautiful you were becoming with Glenn’s baby growing inside of you. 
And of course, the sentimental part took hold, and she realized that it meant that your kids would grow up close in age. They would be half-siblings biologically - just like her and Beth. It was a needy chime that clanged in her heart that instantly needed to be answered. If you wanted to be pregnant, then Maggie would make it happen. 
And then, another stroke of genius flashed into her mind. 
She grabbed your wrist and dragged you toward the stairs, and along the way, she spotted something hanging on the railing that would definitely help her in her quest - Jesus had left one of the ropes for the horses bundled up there, so Maggie grabbed it in her free hand and continued hauling you along forcefully behind her. 
She smiled widely to herself when she arrived at the end of the hallway and pushed you in through Gregory’s bedroom doorway. He didn’t want people ruining his precious house. Fuck him. Maggie was going to ruin his damn bed. 
She followed in behind you and slammed the door shut behind her, and you stared at her with lustful awe in your eyes. 
“Uh - Mags, don’t we need Glenn for this part?” You asked, feeling a bitter thrill run up your spine as you watched her take out her knife and cut off a short length of the rope with it. 
Maggie let out a dark chuckle - one that made your pussy clench and scared you a little at the same time. She put away her knife, walked over to you, and shoved you down onto the bed with a surprising force. Not that it would take much to topple you when you were this dizzy with lust, shaking with anticipation. 
“Darling girl, you still need to be punished for what you did downstairs,” She told you, giving you a dark look. 
You choked on a moan and felt yourself most definitely getting wetter - this was what you had been hoping for all afternoon. You were absolutely pliant to her actions when she flipped you onto your stomach and brought both your hands behind your back, tying your wrists together with the abrasive rope that most definitely wasn’t meant for this - it rubbed against your skin in a harsh way that lit up your nerves and somehow, turned you on even more. 
Your stomach churned with anticipation and your breath came out in hot pants, and you quickly became dizzier by the second as you wondered what she was going to do to you. 
“Just because that old fucker is an awful, thick-skulled, stupid man doesn’t mean that you get to go around actin’ like a rude brat,” Maggie told you, reaching for the waistband of your jeans and your underwear at the same time, harshly pulling the fabric down over your ass, leaving your drooling cunt exposed to the open air in seconds. 
You clenched around nothing, feeling more wetness leak out of you, and you knew that she could see it - just how embarrassingly needy and wet you were for her. 
“If you can behave yourself through this, then maybe - maybe I’ll go get Glenn and let him stuff your little pussy so you can get your wish, alright?” 
You let out a sharp moan at this, and nodded furiously. 
“But if you keep actin’ like a damn brat, then I’ll probably have him fuck your ass for practice instead and you won’t even get to cum at all,” 
You let out a louder moan - strangely enough, this idea turned you on even more, even though it was entirely counter-productive to your goals. But you remembered the feeling of his cock in your ass from past experiences. 
Back at the quarry camp in Atlanta when he brought you back lube from one of his runs to call you out on something he thought was a joke, and you ended up pinned against a tree with his whimpers huffing in your ear, loving the feeling of his cum running down your leg after he pulled out, laughing about how you were ‘crazy’ and it was a ‘weird first date’ (which, it was). Back before the two of you had Maggie - back before the two of you realized that the crazy sex would actually lead to something more. 
The memory alone caused more wetness to leak out of you - which Maggie wiped up with two fingers that she promptly shoved inside you with a sharp jab, absolutely no gentleness or warning. The touch lit up your insides with that rough, beautiful feeling, causing your hips to seize up off the bed toward her, instantly seeking more of the friction, more of the fullness. 
“God, you are such a little whore,” She taunted you, beginning to fuck you with those two fingers in quick, aggressive strokes. 
“I - I’ll be good,” You choked out, turning your head so that your words wouldn’t be lost against the sheets. “I’ll be good, I swear!” 
“Yeah?” She taunted you, her voice melting into that fake, honey-sweet tone that turned you on far too much. “You gonna be a good whore? You gonna be a good little whore instead of a dumb fucking brat?” 
Then, without any warning, she brought her free hand down onto you in a vicious slap - spanking you harshly across the ass cheek. You let out a moan - enjoying the mixture of bright pain that tingled across your skin and the blinding, sharp pleasure that came from inside of you where she was still fucking you with her fingers, absolutely relentless. She was quickly melting you, turning you into the pliant, submissive, easy girl that she knew you could be. 
She was powerful like that. She could have you exactly where she wanted you within minutes. 
“Are you gonna earn it?” 
She said, her voice becoming slightly breathless from the efforts, but still utterly commanding and powerful in the room - especially past the sounds of you whining and the wet slapping of your pussy under her fingers, being played like a piano for her. Another smack came across your ass from her another hand and you let out another pathetic moan. 
“Are you gonna earn the right to be knocked up?” 
“Yes!” You cried out in return. “Yes, Mommy!” 
“Good girl.” 
… 
“I need to talk to you.” 
Glenn had absolutely no clue what he had done to warrant such a harsh tone from Maggie - firm, demanding, serious. It was her work voice. It was her bossy voice - her ‘something is going down’ voice. 
Glenn knew that Maggie had a meeting with Gregory that morning - the man still demanded to be let in on certain ‘matters’, even though, thanks to Maggie, and Jesus, and Sasha, he had very little control over what went on in the small settlement anymore. But he knew how to push Maggie’s buttons, a lot. So either she was pissed off because of something Gregory had done, or something bad was happening. 
Glenn found himself unable to move, pure fear struck into him due to the tone of her voice alone, and the stern expression that was knit across her face. He had been picking through a large wooden carriage of goods dropped off by The Kingdom, sorting out a trade haul of both fresh and salvaged items that The Hilltop would need to feed everyone. 
Maggie added on even more firmly:
“In private. Now.” 
Roused to action by the urgency of her words, Glenn clattered behind her nervously, then, drawn to her bossy energy like a moth to a flame. Usually, it was something that turned him on, now, it was just putting a terrible anxiety deep in his gut. He pattered behind her confident strides with his usual quick steps, wondering what the hell was going on. 
Since Maggie had become the unofficial leader of Hilltop, her days had been packed with a busy schedule that caused a lot of stress. Naturally, Gregory felt betrayed when ‘his’ people constantly chose her and looked to her for leadership, especially when going through conflicts with the Saviors that ultimately ended in a peaceful unification after Negan had been jailed. (Gregory had felt even more sour when he had chosen the wrong side, and still, Maggie and Rick had chosen to save his life.) 
So these days he mostly just sequestered himself off in his office and drank and pretended that he was actually the one making decisions for the community when everyone looked to Maggie for true leadership. 
This meant that Maggie was the truly busy one - she was the one making decisions about food, building more shelters for the growing community, trading with the other communities around them, how to deal with Walkers and potential threats like the Saviours (should those threats come up), medical care. Her days were packed with meetings, gardening to ensure the security of the food supply, and often, traveling off to the other communities to have more meetings. All while she was dealing with the hormones from her pregnancy. 
She was adorably round as she entered her second trimester, her stomach just starting to show the cute pouch of a true baby bump - something that distracted Glenn increasingly as the days went on and made him smile. (That, along with the fact that her breasts were definitely growing and her ass was most definitely getting wider. Something she complained about that he found… viciously temping.) While she was busy taking care of the entire community, he was trying his best to take care of her - always chasing her down to eat and trying to make sure that she got the right amount of sleep. 
And he was worried that something big and terrible had happened now - something that would cause her and the baby far too much stress. 
When they arrived at the main house, Glenn wasn’t surprised when the large sitting room off to the side was closed off, Gregory clearly having closed himself in, sulking again. Maggie tightly grabbed his hand and began literally dragging him up the stairs, causing him to stumble over his own feet as she raced a bit faster than he could keep up. 
“Hey, hey, what’s wrong?” He asked, tripping over the edge of one of the fancy long rugs lining the intricately decorated hallways. “Is someone dead?” He dared to ask. “Did I do something? Am I in trouble? Maggie, come on-” 
She shoved him inside the largest bedroom at the end of the hall - a room that Glenn could have sworn belonged to Gregory. But he couldn’t bring himself to care at all when Maggie quickly pulled the door shut behind them, locked it, and then yanked him close with two fingers tucked into his belt. 
He barely had a moment to think before her mouth was on his, smothering him with an intense heat that he had missed so damn badly, even though it had only been two days since the last time they had fucked. 
Oh. The state of her urgency and need for privacy truly clicked into his brain. Oh, fuck. 
Glenn let out a sharp moan into her mouth - one that was only amplified when she pushed her tongue forcefully past his lips and reached for his belt. She swiftly unbuckled it and unzipped his jeans, reaching into the fly to forcefully grope his cock through his underwear, bringing him to full hardness so quickly that his head began to spin. 
He let out another thick groan that was quickly swallowed by her perfect mouth - his mind was melting so quickly that he felt like he was frying inside of a giant pan, but he truly didn’t care. Her touch was just too good - all of it was just too good. 
Glenn almost swore that he could taste the sharp tang of pussy in her mouth, a brightness that made him crave and want even more, that made him dizzy and pliant to her, but that would mean that you - 
“Mommy?” 
Glenn’s stomach jolted when he heard a pathetic moan that wasn’t his own, and Maggie parted far enough from him to allow his head to veer off toward the sound with horny curiosity flashing brightly through him. 
Surely enough, there you were. 
He wasn’t even sure when he had closed his eyes, but when he managed to peel them open, he discovered an utterly filthy sight that he was sure Maggie had left there just for him to enjoy. 
You were propped against the bed, your cheek pressed against the expensive silk comforter, your mouth wide open and drooling, clearly already fucked out. Your hands were tied behind your back with a rough braided rope that was typically used on the horses, one that was abrasive on your skin and would surely leave marks that would last for days or even weeks and would be obvious to everyone. Hell, those kinds of marks might even be alarming to some people who didn’t know about the rumors of your ‘behind closed doors’ activities if you didn’t wear long sleeves in the coming days. 
Your feet were still planted firmly on the floor, leaving your ass exposed to the open air, your stomach leaning on the edge of the bed, with your jeans hastily ripped down to your knees - clearly, Maggie had been in just as much of an urgent rush with you too. The skin of your ass cheeks was bright and raw, already bruising slightly in some places - obviously, Maggie had delivered a vicious spanking to you over something you had done that had displeased her. 
If you had sat through your punishment well, perhaps taking Glenn’s cock would be your reward. Glenn’s body tingled with pleasure at the thought. 
Especially because your cunt was so pretty and used - clearly Maggie had been playing with it while she had been spanking you. You were so wonderfully raw, spread open and puffed with blood and absolutely drunk with your wetness. The glistening slick spread all over your cute pussy hair and leaking down to slick up your thighs, your hole clenching with anticipation - clearly, you hated the emptiness. (Glenn yearned to march over there and thrust inside of you, filling you up - but he was absolutely not mistaken about the fact that Maggie was in charge.) 
He was instantly struck with a mental image of Maggie forcing you onto the bed, tying your hands behind your back and then shoving her face into your cunt - alternating between forcefully fucking you open with her fingers and spanking your ass until you were crying out for her to stop. 
Her arms had gotten so strong from the farm work, long hours digging holes with shovels with no heavy machinery to help the process along, lifting heavy bags of fertilizer even when Glenn insisted she shouldn’t, carrying large buckets of water - Glenn would be lying if he said that the fact that she could pin him down so easily didn’t turn him on. 
The mental image somehow made him even more turned on than he already was. And of course, with perfect timing, Maggie gave another harsh grope to his cock and ravenously bit at his neck. He had a feeling that if anymore blood rushed away from his brain to rapidly fill up his dick and balls, he would likely soon pass out - but then the idea of Maggie simply not caring and using him as an unconscious fucktoy turned him on even more in a wickedly depraved way. 
“Y/N,” Glenn panted out your name, already struggling to breathe. 
You flailed on the bed slightly, looking like a fish struggling on dry land because of the difficult position Maggie had left you in with your hands trapped behind your back (your body likely jelly and tired from one orgasm having rocked you, if not a few by now). Eventually, you managed to crane your head enough to see him, and you let out a little wicked laugh when you saw that Maggie was mauling his neck and already had his pants down over his thighs. 
“Glenn!” You called back breathlessly in return. “You should have run when you had the chance, dude! These pregnancy hormones are making her fucking insane,” 
There was a wicked kind of delight to your voice - and Glenn wasn’t quite sure what the sentiment behind your words was; if you truly felt like he would regret this because Maggie was too wound up to be reasoned with (which could very well be the case). Or if you wanted to keep her all to yourself because you could be a sucker for punishment at times, and you liked her when she was at her most ‘insane’. Glenn had seen how sometimes, you loved to tease Maggie just to drive her ‘insane’ so that she would spank you and overstimulate you until you nearly passed out. 
Glenn, on the other hand, was softer. And typically, he enjoyed one or two rounds of playful sex or even making love - so perhaps your warning was a bit of both. Perhaps you knew that Glenn couldn’t quite handle Maggie when she was like this, but you could. 
At your words, Maggie scoffed and pulled away from Glenn’s skin, and before he could truly miss the sensation of her soft lips sucking on him, he became intrigued by what she did next. She moved to grab his belt, swiftly pulling it out of the loops of his jeans, now wielding the leather in her hands in a way that was all too familiar - a weapon. It was something she had used against you before. 
“Why do you always have to be such a goddamn brat?” 
She scolded you sharply, and then, she stepped toward you, holding on tight to one end of the belt - Glenn watched with a delightful knot in his stomach as she wound her arm back, and he realized a moment too late that the end she was whipping toward you was the end with the metal buckle attached to it. 
“Mommy-” 
“Shut up!” She hissed at you in the same moment that the metal struck across your skin, creating a sharp welt across the width of one of your ass cheeks, causing you to yelp and jolt away from the sensation, and unmistakably - causing a fresh wave of hot slick to gush out of your cunt. 
“Jesus, Maggie, the buckle!” Glenn spoke up, alarmed. 
He couldn’t help it, it was just his nature. Even if you relaxed your muscles and moaned in pleasure moments after the hit washed over you, and you didn’t make any verbal protests. You knew that, even as ‘insane’ as Maggie was, there was always room for you to do so if you needed to. Glenn always had your best interests at heart. Again, he was just soft like that. 
“She’s fine. You know she’s a pain lovin’ whore.” 
Maggie scoffed again, rolling her eyes. But then, something else struck her, causing her hot streak to be turned toward him as she dropped the belt onto the floor with a dull ‘clank’. 
“Wait - what did you just call me?” 
“I - uh-” 
Glenn began to stutter, and instinctively backed up when Maggie charged toward him, almost tripping over his own pants (which had now fallen down around his ankles). But he was quickly stopped in his tracks when Maggie grabbed him by the cock again - taking a firm, deadly hold on his cock and balls through his underwear, causing him to freeze deadly still when her sharp, untrimmed nails dug into his flesh oh-so-slightly. 
He wasn’t one for pain, but for some reason, it sent a perfect tingle through him, and made his cock throb so perfectly. It sent an epic rush of adrenaline through him and he puffed a hot breath into her face while she stared him down with an utterly predatory gaze, and behind her, he could see you flailing again, desperately trying to see what was going on over your shoulder. 
“What did you call me?” Maggie repeated, firmer, fiercer this time. 
“Your name.” He wheezed out, knowing that he sounded utterly pathetic. 
“No, that is not my name.” She replied, annoyance twinging into her voice. “Not here. Not when we’re alone. Now come on - what is my name? What are you supposed to call me?” 
Glenn, growing dizzier with lust by the second, knew that there was only one correct answer. 
“Mommy.” 
He whined in reply, grateful when she released her death grip on his cock and smoothed a more forgiving touch across his shaft through the fabric, causing him to let out a tiny weep of precum in response. He shuddered and let out a whimper and he absolutely did not miss her utterly satisfied cat-like smirk as she turned back to you, giving him one last glance over her shoulder - naturally, with more dominating words. 
“Get undressed. You have work to do.” 
Glenn knew that the instructions were simple and certain for a reason - they were meant to be followed without question. Just like her place in the rest of the world, when Maggie picked out a job for him in their relationship, she assigned it to him with finite simplicity, and it was always best not to question her leadership. 
(He had realized a bit too late that she had decided to get pregnant before he even considered it an option, and he was just happily fucked dumb and too pleased to question why he was allowed to cum inside of her beautiful pussy now.) 
Glenn rushed to undo the buttons of his shirt with clumsy hands, still eagerly watching as Maggie went back over to you, clearly not done with you yet. She raised her hand up, and laid a harsh, open-handed spank across your ass, specifically targeting the harsh welt that the belt buckle had left on your skin to maximize the jolt of pain that went through you. 
It definitely worked, according to the wail you let out and the way your body seized up off the bed. Even though Glenn wasn’t someone usually turned on by pain, he couldn’t deny the way his cock throbbed and let out another thick bead of precum, especially when you choked on a moan as she smoothed her warm hands over your skin, coddling you in turn with the harsh pain. 
“Maggie-” You whined, making the same mistake that Glenn had earlier, earning you another sharp smack - one that had her wedding ring grazing across your skin sharply in a way that made you squeal. 
“Are you stupid?” She barked, quickly moving two fingers back to your gaping cunt and shoving them inside without any gentleness, fucking into your raw hole so quickly that you saw stars. “Or are you tryna piss me off again? Huh?” 
“‘m sorry, sorry! Ah!” 
“What? I’m sorry, darlin’, I can’t hear you!” Maggie replied in a sing-song type voice, clearly teasing you as she continued to viciously fuck your cunt, digging her nails into the flesh of your ass with the other hand, waiting for you to say the magic words - or rather, the one magic word she wanted to hear. 
Glenn’s insides jumped at the pure, filthy ‘squelch’ that rang out through the air, his tongue becoming fat in his mouth as he yearned to push between your thighs and taste that wetness. He raced to tear his feet out of the mess of fabric around his ankles, kicking off his shoes, finally getting out of his remaining clothing to be fully naked and free. He deeply resisted the urge to reach down and touch his throbbing cock where it jutted out from his pelvis, heavy, aching and needy, because he knew that would only get him scolded and put him on Maggie’s bad side. He knew that if he wanted to cum tonight, he should stay on her good side. 
He moved forward to stand behind Maggie, eagerly looking over her shoulder and down at you as he waited for her next direction, drinking in the sight of her two fingers jabbing into your pussy with no mercy. 
“I’m sorry, Mommy!” You cried out in return, finally giving her what she wanted. 
“Better.” She sighed, pulling her fingers out - clearly, she had never been fucking your pussy with the intention of making you cum, but simply playing with you like the toy that you were, winding you up for her own enjoyment. 
She leaned down and left a sharp, sudden bite on your ass, right on that same already sore spot, enjoying the scream you let out - another beautifully pathetic sound that only served to remind her of the power she held over you. 
She then reached to her belt, going for the knife that she always kept there. For a moment, Glenn thought that she might cut the rope and finally free your wrists - but she surprised him when she used a hold on your arm to turn you over until you were resting on your back. 
Once again, moving with utter certainty, she brought the blade to the bottom of your tee shirt and began slicing, easily tearing the fabric in half until your entire body was exposed - leaving your bare chest heaving as you let out a wild moan, far too turned on by the act of her cutting your clothes off you. 
“Fuck, Mommy-” You breathed out, now most definitely in that buttery, utterly subservient headspace that Maggie needed you to be in. 
“You gonna be a good little whore?” Maggie asked with a smirk, putting her knife back into its holster. 
Before you had time to answer, she reached out a sharply twisted one of your nipples, causing you to let out a pathetic wail, arching into the touch. 
“Ah! Yes! Yes, Mommy!” You replied, quivering and entirely subservient to her. “I’m yours. I’m good - I’ll be good. Please.” 
Glenn’s skin was tingling with the feeling lingering in the air, drool easily pooling in his mouth just from getting to witness this. He was surprised when a small gasp escaped his lips as Maggie delivered a small smack to one of your tits, truly driving home her power with a little bit of extra pain, having you moaning and pressing your tits into the air, eager for more. 
“Good.” Maggie said firmly. “Mommy’s glad you’re finally ready to be filled up.” 
Glenn was more than eager and willing, but he should have been slightly afraid when Maggie reached back to the ground and grabbed his belt once again. 
He should have been anticipating that what came next was going to drive him beyond his limits, but truly - he was far too turned on to care. 
… 
Not much later, Glenn found himself flat on his back in the middle of the bed, his hands tangled up and bound by the leather of his belt. He was tied to one of the slats on the fancy wooden headboard, with you completely divested of any remaining clothing and perched above him, your hands still tied behind your back, meaning that both of you had absolutely no control over the situation. Exactly how Maggie preferred things. 
Maggie had manhandled you into place with that perfect, well-worked strength of hers and hadn’t hesitated to perch you right on top of Glenn’s cock, forcing you to sink down on top of his thick, eight-inch length - so now you were surrounding him like a wonderful, wet, hot sleeve. It was a feeling that had driven him insane within seconds. 
Of course, you were clumsy and had practically no control, even though you were the one on top of him. You could do nothing with your arms tight behind your back and your legs weak from Maggie’s earlier brutal fucking of your pussy. You could do nothing but let her guide you. With her hands firm on your hips, she was using you like a perfect doll, like a fleshlight on Glenn’s cock, hammering you down onto his pelvis. 
And though he was blind to how long it had been since you had sunk down onto his cock (he certainly wasn’t timing it and wasn’t keeping an eye on any one of the antique clocks in the room, not with your gorgeous tits swaying in front of his face) - it felt like it had been hours of brutal heat gripping him, smothering him in a private desert that had covered him in a thick sheen of sweat and made his muscles ache from the effort. 
He was already swimming in a puddle of his own cum, his heavy balls already soaked and sloppy slick, making everything sound even filthier every single time Maggie dropped you down on top of him once again, making him feel gross in a way that somehow turned him on. He couldn’t help but to love every second of this - his mind hazy, his mouth wide open as he panted like a dog, desperate for air, your tits bouncing in his face as you moved on top of him with just as much desperation, chanting in quiet mumbles under your breath. 
“Fill me up, fill me up, fuck-” 
Somehow, he was still iron hard inside of you from the sheer demand of your hot pussy squeezing him, from Maggie’s beautiful southern voice going on, and on, telling the both of you exactly what she wanted. 
“He’s gonna fill you up so good,” Maggie said, petting a hand across Glenn’s stomach in a sweet way that made his aching muscles melt. “Aren’t you, honey? Yeah? You’re gonna fill our girl up so good - gonna fill up this little pussy til she can’t take anymore,” 
His cock was almost in pain at this point, and he almost felt like a prisoner, tied up and trapped underneath you with Maggie’s piercing eyes staring at him over your shoulder. But he realized that this was the best place in the world to be trapped. It was a smothering heat, a stinging pain that drove him insane. But it was where he was needed - it was a demand from two of the finest women in the world, a need for him, for his cock - a need that nobody else could ever fill. If it made Glenn a prisoner, then he would serve a life sentence and be a Walker chained up for the two of you to mock and admire as some kind of sick ornament and he would be happy about it. 
It was the best kind of torture he could have ever imagined. 
“Fuck, it hurts,” 
Glenn whined, his head utterly dizzy - he wasn’t even sure if it was a complaint or not, simply a statement of fact. It was a point of awe as a jolt of sharp pleasure-pain zapped through his rod-hard cock and somehow - he found himself loving it, found himself letting out a sharp whine and jostling his hips up into your heat, seeking more of that delicious, deadly feeling. 
“Aww, darlin, it’s almost like you’re new at this,” 
Maggie replied, tossing him a grin. 
She reached around a pinched one of your nipples, and you arched into the touch, and Glenn found his jaw lolling open in a sharp pant, his neck arching forward automatically with the urge to taste, the need to lap over that delicious, plump skin. But he was tied down with his arms stretched high above his head and unable to reach, and if he had any brain left in his head at all, he would have known that he must have looked like a foolish, dumb dog chasing after a treat that he couldn’t have. 
“I get what I want.” Maggie continued on. “And what I want - is for this sweet little bitch to be pregnant. By tonight.” Maggie grabbed your cheeks sharply on both sides to emphasize the point, and you let out a whine in response. “So you’re gonna get your job done, Glenn. You’re gonna breed her up good, or I’m gonna leave the two of ya tied up here til it’s done - got it?” 
Glenn huffed out a breath - the mental image of you pregnant, especially pregnant alongside Maggie, both of you round together, with swollen breasts and glowing skin and… both of you having his babies, both of you needy for his cock, waking him up in the middle of the night, just as demanding as Maggie had been over the past few weeks. It was just as terrifying and dizzying as it was absolutely thrilling. 
“I want it.” You moaned out, your voice echoing and frantic. “I want it, I want it, I want it! Please, Glenn!” 
You looked down at him with tears glassy across your eyes, your utter desperation punching him in the gut. 
You really wanted to get pregnant. You really wanted to get pregnant with his baby. 
Fuck. 
“Promise her.” Maggie barked. “Promise her that you’re gonna knock her up!” 
She then lightly smacked Glenn across the thigh behind you, jolting him into action.
“Fuck, ah!” Glenn gasped. “I promise. I promise, Y/N. I’ll give you whatever you want. I’ll give you as many babies as you want, I swear.” 
He wished that he could have pulled you close to kiss you as a way of sealing his promise, an in that silent way that she always understood him, Maggie grabbed you harshly by the hair and shoved you down toward Glenn, pressing your tits tightly up against his chest as she shoved your mouth into his in a messy, sloppy, somehow very heart-warming kiss. Glenn moaned into your mouth and you shoved your tongue past his lips, entirely eager to taste him. 
“You’re gonna look so gorgeous when you’re all knocked up, little bird.” Maggie whispered in your ear. “Such a pretty little breeding bitch for us,” 
All too soon, she yanked you away from Glenn’s mouth with that hold on your hair, and the harsh tugging on your roots causing a delightful spike of pain combined with her filthy words sent your body spiralling towards the edge. 
“Fuck, Mommy!” 
You choked on a moan and Glenn felt you spasming around him, your hips grinding non-rhythmically on his cock in sharp jumps - fuck, you were cumming. You were cumming just from the idea of him knocking you up. 
And fuck - he was cumming again too. 
Glenn let out a grunt from deep within his chest and instinctively fucked himself up into you in a few sharp pumps. But at this point, when the hot flood came spilling from his cock, mixing with your overflowing wetness and his own previous loads of cum, he couldn’t even tell where the new mess began and the old mess ended. It was all just stickiness and filth at this point. 
There was a single, tiny moment where he thought that his dick just might give up - where his body might forcibly black out and that he would wake up later, inevitably in this same position of utterly beautiful torture. But instead, a sharp, tingling pain ran across his skin and developed into a mild muscle cramp in his pelvis, and he remained rock-hard inside of you, once again squeezed by your gorgeous, wet, warm pussy while Maggie kept grinding you down across his filthy wet pubic hair. 
“Fuck, fuck, Mommy - I’m so full, I’m so full-” 
You stuttered out, your eyes shut and your words slurring with a kind of drunkenness as your head tipped back to rest on Maggie’s shoulder - she looked at you with a unique, utterly satisfied, near villainous expression as she smoothly petted away some stray hairs from your face. Her breasts were heaving inside of her shirt and Glenn could just imagine how wet she was inside of her jeans. 
“Well, that’s the point, little bird.” She told you softly, her voice a coo that was edging on teasing once again. “You’re s’pose to get all full til you’re little cunt can’t take anymore… get all bred up and give Mommy another baby.” 
Glenn let out a growl at these words - his brain utterly possessed by the idea that yes, it was Maggie’s baby. It was his baby. It was your baby, just like the baby inside of her was yours. The three of you so utterly interconnected that you might as well be handcuffed together on a daily basis. 
Maggie put a firm hand on your lower belly, as if to demonstrate her point, as if willing Glenn’s cum to take, to get you pregnant right then and there. You arched into the touch, inadvertently grinding yourself against him in a way that drove him even more insane. 
“I need it, fuck, I need it,” You mumbled out ravenously. “I need to be full, I to be bred, please,” 
Somewhere along the way, Glenn had realized that this was about revenge. 
Maggie wanted to fuck in Gregory’s bed to get back at him. Jesus wouldn’t let her kill him, not without good reason. Especially not since tentative peace had been established with the Saviours - he went on about how ‘no more bloodshed’ was necessary, and in a way, as annoying as he found Gregroy, Glenn agreed. 
So Maggie found other ways to get back at him. She had you and Jesus drink his good scotch to reward the two of you for all your hard work, and she would dilute the bottles with water when the two of you were done. Then she would quietly laugh whenever the man droned on about how good a ‘finely aged’ drink tasted, clearly knowing that his unrefined palette could not taste the difference between actually good scotch and the watered down bullshit that she had left him. She snuck Rick and Daryl some of his fine cigars when they arrived with trade items, and when he asked why the count was lower when he remembered, she acted clueless and told him that his count must have been off. 
But this was the most brazen she had ever been with her taunting of Gregory. 
Some part of Glenn knew that she had absolutely no intentions of changing the sheets - that a great part of her satisfaction would come from leaving dried cum all over his fine linens and either forcing him to clean it up himself (leaving him with the awkward, embarrassing knowledge of what it was). Or letting him be foolish enough to sleep in it if he somehow didn’t notice it. With Maggie always knowing that he was sleeping on the same mattress where Glenn had fucked a baby into you (if he got it right on the first try, which - he didn’t think he was going to miss with this much of his cum stuffed inside of you now). 
And somehow, that thought turned him on, too. 
Maggie reached down behind you and Glenn let out a very undignified wail when she groped his balls - the skin was slick with your wetness, but he was already so sore, his body so spent and used. The touch sent a sensation through his body, rocking him with overwhelming pleasure - he wasn’t sure how he remained conscious at that point. 
“Got anymore for me?” She asked, giving him a wicked grin. “Huh? You gonna be a good boy for me ‘n fill our girl up some more?” 
“Jesus,” Glenn hissed, intensely overwhelmed - between Maggie’s words, her touch, and the clench of your cunt around him once again as Maggie’s other hand reached up to tweak your nipple - her question was truly answered. 
Like a man possessed, Glenn choked on a breath and garbled spit, somehow shooting another load into your already well used, very wet pussy. Maggie hummed in a pleased tone, and then, seemingly, planted her hands on your hips with the purpose of finally moving you off Glenn. 
But she was disrupted by a knock on the door. The sound shook Glenn with anxiety - up until that moment, he had been so perfectly stuck in a bubble where only you, him, and Maggie existed, and hadn’t even thought about the consequences of getting caught. 
“Hey, uh - Maggie?” Jesus’s very timid voice came from the other side of the door. Usually he wasn’t shy, but… god, he must have heard what was going on behind the closed door, making him incredibly hesitant to interrupt. “Sasha just arrived with those panels for the greenhouse that you wanted, and she wants to go over the plans again, so… do you mind coming downstairs?” 
“Be right there!” Maggie called back. 
Much to Glenn’s horror, she climbed off the bed, leaving you to drop back onto Glenn’s cock firmly. You let out another harsh noise as he sank deep inside of you again and Glenn practically saw stars as his body shook with overstimulation. Maggie didn’t look back in your direction - she crossed the room to the door (leaving behind the flannel she had been wearing as an outer shirt, now only in a thin tank top) and her boots, and she scooted out the door, closing it behind her quickly, as to not let any wandering eyes peek inside. 
But this left you and Glenn, tied up, stuck together - his cock still fully seated inside of you. (He was willing himself to go soft, to relax, but it was incredibly difficult with you squirming on top of him and making those pretty little noises as you did so, your tits heaving with every breath, your blissful, fucked-out face still right there in his line of sight, your heat still fully gripping his aching, sore dick. Fuck.) 
“Can - can you get off me?” Glenn choked out, absolutely no power in his voice, meek and whimpery as ever. 
“I’m trying.” You moaned back weakly, still squirming. Your thighs were quivering terribly and your knees were shaking as you tried to lift yourself up, your arms absolutely no help to give you leverage while they were held hostage with the rough rope behind your back. “It’s not my fault I’m stuck on a full seven inches over here.” 
“Eight.” Glenn mumbled back in return. (He wasn’t even being cocky with the correction, not in his opinion. It was simply factual.) 
“Now is not the time, pizza boy.” You grumbled in complaint, letting out another weak whimper when you accidentally caused his tip to graze across a partially weak spot inside of you, causing more wetness to flood out around the base of his cock - something he definitely felt, and hated how it made his cock throb sorely. 
“Fuck, stop that!” He growled at you. 
“Stop? Stop what? Stop trying to get up like you fucking told me to?” You replied, annoyed - Maggie had been gone for about a minute, and you had already developed back into a mean brat. No surprise there. “Make up your fucking mind, Glenn, because I know that you’re whiny and overstimulated, but I could sit on your cock all day if I wanted to-” 
Your empty threat was quickly cut off when the bedroom door swung open again, and Maggie charged back inside. 
“You know, I should make you do it.” Maggie said, clearly having heard your words. 
Both you and Glenn craned your necks to look at her as she sat in one of the large cushioned armchairs and began putting on her boots, all graceful confidence and power, every single move calculated and elegant - making the two of you wait with baited breath before she spoke again. 
“You’re such a goddamn brat - I should make you stay there, stuffed full until I come back to get you.” 
“Maggie, please.” Glenn begged quietly, trying to appeal to her - giving her his best puppy eyes, trying to remind her that he had done nothing wrong. 
She let out a harsh sigh, defeated, unable to resist that look from him. 
When she stood up from the chair, she finally came over and grabbed you with an arm around your waist, hoisting you off Glenn - the two of you parting made the filthiest sound, slick and wet as his cock slapped down onto his stomach. You were left gaping, a flood of cum instantly leaking out of you and making a mess over your thighs and across the bed, exactly as Maggie had wanted. 
Glenn found himself enraptured by the sight - especially when you inevitably clenched your pussy around the empty feeling and more of his cum spilled out of you. 
Maggie couldn’t help herself - she reached out and used two fingers to push the mess back into you, causing you to whimper weakly as the intrusion prodded against your swollen, well-used walls. 
“I should fuck you again.” Maggie whispered against your ear, a hot threat as she shoved her fingers deep inside of you, rough and unforgiving. “I should teach you a lesson for mouthin’ off to Glenn. But - I do have a meeting to get to.” 
You let out a sigh of relief when she pulled her fingers out of you, and then reached for her knife, finally moving to cut the rope holding your wrists giving your now very sore arms some room to move and stretch. Maggie then moved to untie Glenn, and instinctively, when he saw the raw skin of your wrists from the rough texture of the rope, he couldn’t help but to bring your hand up and kiss across your wrist, wanting to soothe it a bit, even if just emotionally. 
“You’re too soft with her.” Maggie scolded him, no real heat behind it. “That’s why she’s such a brat.” 
“Maybe.” Glenn shrugged in reply, giving you a small smile, which you easily returned. 
You wanted to make a comment about how you were a brat because you liked to see how far you could push Maggie - but you held the words in. 
“Go get cleaned up,” Maggie told Glenn, picking up his pants and pushing them into his hands, and then shoving him toward the attached ensuite bathroom. He was quick to move, following her instructions. “I have a long afternoon ahead of me, yammering on about the goddamn greenhouse plans - so unfortunately I can’t just leave the two of you alone in here.” 
“You ruined my shirt,” You whined, moving to pick up your pants and looking at the pile of shredded fabric that had once been your shirt with sad eyes. 
“I’ll get you a new one.” Maggie replied easily. 
When you moved to walk around her, going to use the bathroom to clean the (vast amount of) cum off you, Maggie put a hand in the middle of your still very sweaty chest, stopping you. 
“Don’t think you’re off the hook just cause I have things to attend to.” She said, locking you in that firm gaze once again. 
You caught Glenn’s eye behind her shoulder, and he held in laughter. He genuinely wondered what you had done earlier that day to deserve such a punishment. But he was just glad to be an observer on the sidelines rather than someone at the end of Maggie’s clever lustful wrath. 
… 
For the rest of the day, you received strange looks from everyone who was at Hilltop, trying to go about their day, doing their chores, because you were walking as though you had just gotten off a particularly long, painful horse ride. 
Maybe it was the few extra, vicious strikes to the ass that Maggie had given you when you had complained about the punishment that she was sentencing you to, or maybe it was the punishment itself. That punishment being - stuffing a large plug inside if you in an attempt to keep Glenn’s cum in, and not letting you wash up so that you wouldn’t waste a single drop, wouldn’t wash any of his precious spend down the drain. 
But with the gape that his wide cock had left you in, that small plug wasn’t quite enough to keep bits of his cum from spilling out of you whenever you moved, so along with your dirty thighs and matted pubic hair, every single time you moved, you felt your underwear and jeans becoming more and more soiled with the evidence of what the three of you had done. 
And to the most careful, watchful eye (that being Glenn’s of course - he tried his best to busy himself with his chores, willing his tired, aching cock to stay down, because he feared that it just might fall off if he got hard again that day) - the seam of your jeans where it was pressing up against your cunt was just a bit darker, the fabric actively wet and stuck to you, soaked from his cum leaking out of you and likely from how turned on you still were from the whole thing. 
Glenn had to force himself to focus on his assigned chores, because if he didn’t - he just might have pulled you aside into the trees and tried again to fuck another baby into you. After all, it was what Maggie wanted. And she always got what she wanted in the end.
...
A/N: Please keep in mind, this is a oneshot and there will not be a 'Part 2' or a continuation. If you are going to comment on this fic, please comment on the body of work that has been written, rather than asking for a continuation.
If you like this dynamic, feel free to come to my inbox and tell me that you liked this fic for that reason, and I will likely write more with this pairing (the Maggie x Reader x Glenn pairing). But I will not be continuing this fic directly. You can also check out my other Gleggie x Reader fic Hold Me Tight Or Don't, or you can check out my other TWD fics by going through my Walking Dead Masterlist. Happy reading, and I hope you have a great day!
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aliteralgrizzlybear · 14 days ago
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I'm just gonna rant under here
I would say "I miss feeling attractive" but I've never felt attractive a day of my life. I really just miss feeling like I could trust my own body and brain to function at any level at all.
The people who have sought me out as a romantic or sexual partner, to the very last of them, have done so with the hope of using me as a band-aid for personal issues. They've all wanted to feel wanted, loved, cared for, have wanted to have their physical and emotional needs met in some capacity that isn't happening in that moment of their lives. Often this is to their own detriment, because my aro ass sees sex as a hobby activity to engage with for fun with friends or other people I can trust and be safe with, and the people who pursue me want it to "mean" something romantic -- and even when they deny that, they routinely prove it with both word and deed. It's kinda fucked that I know for a fact that I can't trust anyone who acts like I'm attractive, regardless of whether or not they genuinely do, because I know what comes next: weird attempts at manipulation.
Everyone -- every single person -- who's ever propositioned me or lusted after me has basically been like "I want you to do XYZ to me and maybe we have a relationship after that jk! unless! but jk! Unless!" with zero consideration for anything I actually might want or feel. Even the people I'm currently fucking, if I'm being honest. I'm a receptacle where they want to dump their fantasies and insecurities in order to get love and sex in return, and I get to feel like I'm straight up being used for indirect self-sabotage and self-harm (and sometimes it's not even indirect!)
And it, uh, Fucking Sucks. I'm sick of it.
It's not even just the occasional people who want to fuck, honestly. I feel like I'm treated like a free therapy and emotional dumping space for literally anyone, even family a ton of my friends, because I have The Audacity to speak openly about my emotions once in front of them. It isn't the "oh, you have this issue, I'll share my issue so you know I at least kind of understand" thing, it's "oh you revealed you had feelings other than Happy, now I'm going to overrun every conversation by talking about All the things going wrong in my life as soon as you say hi! Did you want to talk? Too fucking bad! Actually you're a bad person for wanting say anything or get any emotional fulfillment or connection out of this interaction, and you owe me an apology I'm not even going to accept."
I'm fucking tired.
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I love it when women hate men. I love it when women are allowed to vent to each other about how horrible and creepy men are. I love it when women form friendships with and prioritize each other over relationships with men(whether they're attracted to them or not). I love it when women put men dni in their bios and on their nude photos and on posts on their blogs. I love it when women refuse to mollycoddle and accommodate entitled male feelings with "but this doesn't mean I hate all men, I know a few men who are great, I love my father/sons/brothers/uncles/male cousins/guy friends" I love it when women complain about men WITHOUT "not all men" being a disclaimer. I love it when women avoid socializing with/refuse to be around/befriend/get close to men because they know men can't be trusted. I love it when women make "kill all men" jokes. I love it when women offer absolutely no concern or care for men's feelings and if their misandry offends men whatsoever because why should we, men are the oppressor class who have raped and killed and abused us and kept us as subjugated as second-class citizens for millennia, they regularly mistreat us and the women in their own marginalized communities still every single day and make this world so much harder and more awful for us to be in, and if we choose to hate them and not spare them any sympathy then so be it, and I don't just mean "men as a class" either, you can be a woman who doesn't want to have anything to do with any man on an individual basis and completely cuts off men from her personal life too and ykw I will love and fucking support you in that because men deserve absolutely NOTHING from us. If they're so tough and strong then they can handle it just like they can handle being lonely. If you are a woman who hates men, ESPECIALLY IF YOU ARE A LESBIAN AND/OR A TRANS WOMAN, then just know that I love you. I love you, I support you, and you are safe here.
#was going to make a post about how much i hate that women aren't allowed to hate their oppressors but i decided to spin it into something#positive instead#this is supposed to be the feminist site that makes reddit mgtow piss their baby diapers so let's go back to despising men and not coddling#their feelings and let's dye our hair blue while we're at it#i am so tired of this new wave of guilt-tripping and gaslighting women who hate men and don't trust or want to be around them#i hate how we're made into villainesses or the problematic ones for not valuing them in our lives or for wanting to guard ourselves or be#safe from our oppressors#and i'm tired of people who don't know the first thing about feminism being like 'BUT THAT'S TERF RHETORIC WHAT ABOUT X MINORITY MEN'#guess what women can also be x minority that you're trying to protect the men of and we get to hate men too#trans women are included when i say women btw and trans men are included when i say men#if anyone has the right to hate men more than anybody else it's trans women esp trans lesbians because they put up with so much shit#from men that even cis women do not and they especially know how vile men are behind closed doors#so#terfs fuck off#radfems fuck off#and if anybody tries to make this post more appeasing to men or 'not all men's this post you are getting blocked and hit with a hammer#feminism#misogyny#sexism#patriarchy#tw men#tw rape#tw abuse#misandry#terfs dni#radfems dni#feminists need to go back to being scary and unpalatable for men none of this 'but some of them are good!' bullshit#men are entitled to nothing from us#and if you try to prove me wrong then you are just proving my point if you have nothing good to say then simply keep scrolling#ok? ok.
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thetardisisnotourdivision · 3 months ago
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I am unreasonably upset about the fact that I've been forced to accept that Gabriel was a Gerald.
For context, in An Inspector Calls, Gerald Croft is engaged to Sheila Birling when he meets a homeless, struggling Eva Smith in a bar, and essentially in return for a home and money he shows her affection (ahem), then gets rid of her once he no longer has a use for her. Now, obviously this isn't a direct translation, but the essentials are - a Gerald is a character who uses another character, in return for something they need, usually masking the fact that they're using them with affection and love.
And against my will I've had to accept that this is exactly what Gabriel does to Nathalie.
Did I want to think he had potential to be better? Did I think he genuinely cared for Nathalie?? Hell, did I just really really want somebody to care about Nathalie???
Probably all of the above but the point is: he's Gerald. And I cannot - I literally can't unsee it now. Their whole dynamic in S3 is like “oh boohoo I'm sorry I wish you didn't have to use the peacock Miraculous and kill yourself over it but uh I need to use your powers” “yeah no that's fine I'm all good”. Which, given the "Gerald" theorem, I'm assuming leads to the fact that what Nathalie needed, above all, was someone to care about her - and Gabriel came along, as Sheila Birling puts it, "like a fairytale prince", and was so caring and gentle and... Yeah. She fell for him. And. Yeah he genuinely did seem to care like twice. But so did Gerald. Gerald actually admits that he did care for Eva, just not the way that she cared for him, and, uh, not enough to not just dispose of her. So he discards her anyway when she stops being useful.
Leading me neatly to my point.
He starts using the peacock Miraculous the second it's fixed, the slimy bastard, HOWEVER. It runs way deeper than that. Assuming I'm right (which I almost DEFINITELY am), then Gabriel only needed Nathalie while she was useful. She didn't stop being useful in season three - she's still scheming for him, helping him with plan after plan. It's only partway through season 5 that she officially servers ties with him, and starts to actively hinder him.
Nathalie stops being useful when she fails as Safari. And I reckon that's when Gabriel and Tomoe decided she had to go.
(It's painfully, I-was-ugly-crying-over-it obvious in Conformation that Gabriel is fully prepared to let Nathalie die - in the original storyboard, her alliance was encouraging her to sleep, and he's very obviously prepared for this moment - I've made a separate post about it that I'll link if I can find it. However, onto the next bit)
With all of this, there's one thing that sticks out to me - Nathalie didn't see any of it until it was already too late. There could be many reasons for this. But you know who would have seen through it? Whose parents were all loving and perfect until she married the wrong man? Emilie. Emilie, who left behind those videos, which on the surface look innocent, but when you look deeper look like a (love confession???????) AHEM a warning. I reckon Emilie noticed what was going on and realised that Nathalie wouldn't see through Gabriel, so she left those videos addressed to Nathalie (not Gabriel, which surely they should have been - they were about him, after all - unless they were there...) as a warning. I don't think the videos were supposed to be about helping Gabriel, I think Emilie was warning Nathalie to get the fuck out of that house, and to take Adrien with her. Because Emilie knew it'd end like this.
Yes I'm still mad ok give me a break.
#Not a direct translation obviously#(although I hate the fact that my brain has AUTOMATICALLY made the links between the peacock Miraculous and Emilie and... yeah#as in#it fits better than it should as an allegory)#Anyway yeah my mad evening ramblings™#This began as an angry rant and became a theory#But yeah it's so so obvious I've said it before but it's SO glaringly obvious that Nathalie is desperate for any kind of affection#“girl what were YOU doing at the devil's sacrement -” I am also desperate for affection!!!! Shut up I'm talking!!!!!#It's really really obvious like I'd guess#(given that she seems to live with the Agrestes and has a... past certainly)#there's no family in the picture#And yeah so I'm tired now if you have questions ask them I'll elaborate#Just remember that I'm so fucking obsessed with An Inspector Calls that it's genuinely a plot point in one of my books#So the comparison makes sense ok???? Let me go to bed#(read found-family fanfic and cry)#miraculous ladybug#miraculoustalesofladybugandcatnoir#nathalie sancoeur#gabriel agreste#emilie agreste#adrien agreste#miraculous#an inspector calls#gerald croft#Yes I'm tagging this with AIC and Gerald ok I want a bunch of GCSE students to look up the tag and be confused out of their fucking minds#Voilà i guess#Oh yeah there's problems with this bc Emilie tells Nathalie to stop Gabe#but there's nothing saying she didn't then add “oh and if you can't then get the hell outta there babes”#“with OUR little prince” (????? That line is still so confusing what does it MEAN)#Oh ig I should tag this with eminath bc of the last bit
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bandsandwristbands · 2 months ago
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Vent post
#ignore me lol#vent post#I am feeling extremely angry and frustrated and alienated#like of course I'm demotivated when I point out injustice and literally everyone just shrugs at me and tells me to get over it#“what are we gonna do about it”#put any thought into it whatsoever for starters#idk I want to give up#the same bitches that tell me not to kill myself are the same ones to vote my rights away#I hate living#I don't even get validation from participating in fan content anymore#im just anxious and feeling rejected all the time#except for like five very specific moots on here#but then I feel like a fucking failure for not knowing how to socialize or show them that I care without being weird and ugh#idk i'm tired#I feel like I put all this energy into making myself acceptable for everyone else and I go out of my way to be positive and compassionate#and then I get fuckall in return#post election blues ig#here's hoping I don't end up under a bridge#I think I would be a vastly different (better) person if everyone around me wasn't a bunch of complacent#selfish#wet blankets.#I'm getting really tired of being treated like I'm crazy for expecting better.#I can't talk to anyone because I don't want to hear that I need to get over it or that everything will be fine#it doesn't help or mean anything#things just get harder and harder and I'm just waiting around#I'm so srs if you read this far don't try to tell me nice things#im in an evil caustic mood and I will just continue pouring negativity in return
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skwivr · 4 months ago
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#hey like. not to be really annoying i shouldn't be doing this aged 32 but i'm really struggling#every time the weather gets cold i feel like i am entering winter with more and more despair#i am really struggling this time#every day is a struggle to get through#i'm losing my hair#i'm losing my reasons to live#i keep putting on a full face of makeup and clothes in my room at like 2am just to desperately try to feel human#i keep saying i don't know if I'll survive the winter and people keep laughing but I don't mean it as a joke#i'm sadder than i've ever been and everything feels like it's falling apart#whenever i get the chance to confide this in people i get told that i'm strong and i'm a survivor#and that i should do some shit to make me happy#and yea i can stave it all off for a few minutes with like a trip out or some makeup or something but it all feels like bandaids#for a serious wound that's going to go septic soon#like this isn't a way to live a life#i don't want to 'be strong' or a 'survivor' anymore i want to be fucking happy#i'm tired and promises of brief happiness between ever worsening pain feel almost patronizing at this point#i woke up the other day in the middle of the night and as soon as conscious thoughts hit my brain i almost doubled over#if i had been not on the first floor i think i might have jumped then and there#i want to be loved and feel like my love is worth something#i want a clean apartment of my own and a career that doesn't feel like it's designed to kill me#i'm 32 and still essentially feel like i'm living my life like a teenager#i want sun and suncatchers and healthy plants and a wardrobe that fits my clothes#and i want the will to actually get up in the morning#i endured all of this for so long on a delusional belief that things were going to magically get better#but i realize now they won't#i became aware of the bounds of my cage with no means of escaping them#i'm sick of living each day oscillating between numbness and grief i can barely eat i can barely work i can barely laugh#and no one's coming to save me#i'm agonized by the idea that this is maybe what life always is for everybody#is this how it's supposed to be
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green-mountain-goose · 5 months ago
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northwest-cryptid · 5 months ago
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I literally feel like I'm dying and I need to see a doctor, but I can't worry about that right now because
My bank account is literally in the negatives because I'm too disabled to work and can't make money but I can't worry about that right now because
I'm months overdue on getting my car new tags, but it won't even start if I could drive it so I need to jump the battery and get gas which I don't have money for, but I can't worry about that right now because
People are still expecting me to be social across numerous friend groups and it's pulling me in so many directions that I'm stretched so thin I'm running on no social battery for the last month, but I can't worry about that right now because
I still need to actually clean the house, do the dishes, clean the cat litter boxes, vacuum, and do my laundry... but I can't worry about that right now because
I still need to actually set up my new desk so I can stream since I haven't been able to do that for weeks and streaming is unfortunately my only source of income for how little I make every month, but I can't worry about that right now because
My partner is going through a really hard time right now and I need to be there for her and do what I can to make sure she's okay.
#People like me don't make it man. We just don't.#I'm hyper dependent on others to the point where I'd be homeless without my partner#I'm stressed day in and day out I get messages from people who want me to play games or hang out or just chat and I can't even#find the time to respond because I have 12 other things I need to be doing and those 12 other things aren't getting done because#every single thing I need to do is preventing me from doing something else and at the end of it all my health is getting worse and worse#and as it gets worse it costs more to fix and I can't get on disability without paying for a lawyer with money I literally do not have#and I'm losing it I'm literally going insane I'm pissed off because I see people blame the country I live in or the circumstances I'm in#and they act like they can't do anything and it'd be wrong of me to ask them for help#and I know when I die (and at this point it won't be long) they're going to act like this is the fault of america or some shit#they're not going to think about how they could have helped#and it sucks because some of my friends DO try to help they really do and I love them for it but it's so hard for me to see people#who don't make much money and who are also in tough situations throwing what they can at me to help me when I know people who have so much#they spend it frivolously on luxuries and I want to strangle them but then I'm not owed anything so it's not my place to tell them how#to spend their money or live their life.#and I'm tired man I'm so fucking tired I can't even stay awake for a few hours before I am too exhausted to sit upright anymore#I pass out and find myself without energy before I've even done anything and I'm only 29.
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buttercup-barf · 8 months ago
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Under the cut are mostly self-insert doodles of decreasing quality. Again, not much directly tied to Team Fortress 2. Might as well toss these out while I have no access to my puter. Much yapping under the cut and in the tags incoming.
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Another self-insert, this time less of a "here's me as a tenth class" and more of a "here's my game experiences translated into the class I would take the place of". The Cleaner. Although I guess they could still be wearing either suit. It doesn't matter that much.
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That one Convict's Case taunt with Backup would be extremely funny, because the man would be on the verge of a breakdown (he does not want to go to jail so bad you have no idea). The second image- I owe no explanation. You know what I am. You see the pattern with my favourites.
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The duality of the man. Resting face versus "just heard you express interest in religion/Russian folklore" face. He's not that hard to make friends with, when you pull him away from all the explosions.
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Some doodles of trying to figure his face out. Unfortunately, the more I stare at him, the more I worry that he looks like A Certain Guy With The Last Name "Kazarin", and the fear of never being original in my life caught up to me.
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Don't look at me, don't perceive me, I refuse to explain any of my actions to you.
#team fortress 2#tf2#that's it that's the only tags i am putting this in. maybe someday i will have the balls to do more but for now that's about it#while i have the chance - and since posts with more of my yapping in the tags don't pop in people's feeds much - i might as well ramble-#-about these guys here. self-inserts or not i'm projecting only half of my bullshit on each one of them. creativity 👍#backup is tall and pale and has sharp canines and more of a dull brown hair colour with tired grey eyes. no amount of babyface or soft-#-hands can really help a motherfucker when he's grimacing so much because he just Hates being around half the people on the team.#cleaner meanwhile is on the shorter side and has constantly flushed skin and brighter colours and whatnot. you can't see it because of the-#-mask most of the time but they do smile a lot more and have a more cheery disposition towards life and see the whole team as their friends!#backup transitioned fully (albeit not very legally lmao) and is scared shitless of not being seen as a man although the last time that ever-#-came up was years ago. he holds onto his last name as part of the heritage he loves and loathes at the same time - attached to his culture-#-and religion and bloodline while also resentful of his family and the regime he knows someone else on the team suffered under.#cleaner just kinda binds and calls it a day. he only does it to confuse the team because while he doesn't identify with being a girl he-#-loves the confused looks his epic gender reveal moment gets. they do not remember their family name or where they grew up or what even got-#-them to this kind of mental state. and he's chill with it he values the here and now way more than some dark edgy backstory.#backup despite trying to be an honest man is afraid of vulnerability as well. he stubbornly refuses to express love towards certain people-#-lest they feel disgusted and turn away. he's afraid of consequences afraid of losing the people he loves afraid of his ''interests'' being-#-what drives them away. it doesn't by the way and he just wasted time being a cold indecisive loser for several months lmao#cleaner wears a suit that hides all of them yes but they pretty much never lie. he is always his truest self and he can always just burn-#-people who don't like him enough to make it a problem. they are a lot more comfortable indulging in their interests - be they innocent-#-and juvenile or violent and dangerous. he is quite open with his affection and his fascinations that backup would rather keep secret.#i want to establish that these two can only exist in separate universes because they both have feelings towards the funny assistant lady-#-and the funny inventor guy (selfshipping for the winnn) and would fight over those two. cleaner would win by the way#it's also a really funny point of comparison. cleaner is objectively more fucked up than backup and still managed to be more normal about-#-their feelings and live as a healthier and happier person than that guy. comedic gold honestly#OKAY I'M DONE if you read up to here you get uhhh a cookie :-)
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sherlock-is-ace · 8 months ago
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#i'm done i'm so fucking tired#i want to burn the internet to the ground#i want to destroy my computer chuck my phone into a river and go live in the middle of nowhere#no wifi no 4g no nothing#i want to die because we cannot fucking escape this shit#meta using my art to train ai and refusing my request to stop#my computer not being able to run glaze or nightshade or any of those ai poisoning thingies#spam emails and text messages and whatsapp messages and bots in the comments#and just EVERYTHING TRYING TO SELL ME THINGS WHILE ALSO STEALING WHAT'S ALREADY MINE#i hate it i hate it i can't fucking stand it anymore#and you'll be like ''then why don't you go offline then... nobody's making you have an instagram account''#and you'd be right... if it weren't for the fact that i chose the one fucking career that DEMANDS online presence#i already struggle to find work as an illustrator WITH social media and POSTING MY ART ONLINE#how the fuck would I do it if people don't see my art?!#and sure people have illustrated books way before the internet existed... sure... BUT IT DOESN'T WORK LIKE THAT ANYMORE#i'm so fucking angry and tired and frustrated that there's no way out of this#the internet is becoming unusable yet life demands it#my only option right now it to fuck myself and my beliefs and let companies steal my hardwork for the benefit of..?#having no notes in my posts except for the bots commenting ''see 👀my hole 🍑 daddy 💦 kitten 😻 ready 4 u 🤤 subscribe🔥 pay 💲 me''#i'm sick of this#i don't want to delete everything i ever posted online because A. at this point that's useless and B. again. how the fuck would i get work?#also even then... emailing my clients their finished illustrations goes through google drive or gmail...#do we think google is nice and doesn't steal images to train generative AI?#''talk to your representatives they need to make laws about this'' my fucking president is currently chumming it up with elon fucking musk#while people here are starving to death#we're literally going to freeze this winter because the genius goverment has fucked up our gas supply and that's used not only for heating#but for ELECTRICITY PRODUCTION#so we won't have a wat to heat our houses cook or even fucking SEE AT NIGHT#and you want me to ask them to make copyright laws?!#i want to die
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uncanny-tranny · 2 years ago
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Look, if you've encountered a disabled person's life or living standards and you personally don't like it, the least you can do is not saying "I'm so grateful I don't like like that" or worse "I'm so glad I'm not you"
It is actually incredibly simple to simultaneously not center yourself and the way you aren't disabled or the way your disabilities don't impact your life like others and to not shame and humiliate others. It's sometimes okay to keep comments like that inside your mind, where it won't hurt that person.
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lazycrow12 · 3 months ago
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I have very many thoughts about epic!Calypso and her character and how she acts and why she acts that way and how her experience have shaped who she is
I also have thoughts about the ways she's treated in this fandom and how some of y'all attribute the actions of her book counter part and place them on her to justify hating her
I shall share these thoughts when I can. Hopefully soon
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ashtcnirwin · 1 month ago
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sealeneee · 5 months ago
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siiiiiiigh
#i am in fact a grown adult who is still incapable of talking about their feelings and thoughts to people so I'll just rant here#my relationship with my mother is. so weird. it's not always bad but it always ends up bad for one reason or another#she can be perfectly civil and i'll still be irritated. other times i do try to tolerate it and engage and she ends up saying something#upsetting to me either way.#i don't want to keep being rude to her i don't want to get mad and annoyed all the time but i just can't stop. it's always like this#and i hate myself for it and i hate her and i hate everything about it#today i was leaving for work and she was like. i'll take the trash out of your room and i told her not to do it. she kept insisting and i#had to raise my voice at her to maybe get the point across to get her not to touch anything#and yes my room is a fucking mess and it is something to be embarrassed of. i just feel so fucking tired all time time and i keep tellin#myself that i will clean it this time for sure and then i don't. most of the time it's my mother taking care of it without my permission#and i am grateful for it bc nobody likes living in a mess... but i also fucking hate it because it makes me feel even more worthless#i just can't get rid of the feeling of shame. no matter what i do.#and back to the mother thing. i told her that if she touches anything i will go to her room and throw out anything that isn't nailed down#even though objectively i have no reason to oppose her helping me#but i also fucking hate it#maybe being rude is the only way to get it across. but also i get irritated about anything so easily#i feel shittier and shittier every day. had there been an easy and painless way of killing myself i would have done it already#and despite how much i want to blame this on a disorder or lack of access to medication. there is no magic pill that would fix me is there#i'm just a shitty person who cannot get it together despite everything being handed to me#i'm literally bad at anything and everything. i'm not even a good blogger lmao#people have it much worse in life and still do better. me? i'm useless. there's no helping it. i should have died from covid or something#nobody will save me. nobody cares enough. besides one person whom i push away because i can't stand her and i don't even know why 👍#if i stop messaging people first most of them would forget about me#i am alone. a lonely person in a messy room desperately trying to be entertaining so someone will pay a little bit of attention to me.#not to mention the geopolitics#i won't even go there. i hate the possibility that people might see it mentioned and give me shit for it#one more thing that is apparently my fault. directly or indirectly#all i want is to leave this country. spend the day with someone who cares for me like an actual friend. and then shoot myself so i don't#have to go back#sealene.txt
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rejoiceandcomplain · 8 months ago
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